A little over one year has passed since we bought the place, and, whether intentionally or not I have been in a bit of a holding pattern. However, the pattern has worn very thin and I am growing impatient with myself. Even as a good permie, iit is time to get a move on…the initial observation cycle is now over. It is time to get busy, get comfortable with solidifying my ideas and start actually putting the pieces of the puzzle onto paper and into the ground.
I don’t have any real answer for why I have been slow to get to this point. Even risking the anger and frustration of my wife as “nothing happens”, I felt blocked and uncertain. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been toying with ideas, but nothing has really been clicking. I remember a wonderful interview I heard a while back about the creative process in which the “Eat, Pray, Love” author Elizabeth Gilbert was talking about how creativity requires a whole toolbox of tactics. Sometimes words have to be wrestled, sometimes coaxed, sometimes teased, sometimes seduced into existence. I feel that way with this design, and it has been frustrating at times because I see bits and pieces of possibility but there has been no “Ah HA!” moment.
However, over the last few weeks there has been one patch of the garden that I planted right when we moved in and this year it is “coming into its own” just like I had planned. It’s nothing spectacular, but it does lift me up every day when I brush against the leaves, when I pick the herbs and as I watch life at work. And I am reminded to be patient, start with what makes sense and what is doable, be willing to experiment and make spectacular mistakes and everything will come together (one way or another!) in the end.
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